Friday, January 02, 2009

Why I am switched into "off" mode....


You know that moment? It's the one right after high school, when you are standing there, looking out at the world, and it seems so vast and you wonder: "what am I going to do?" and it feels so overwhelming. Then, the next thing you know, you have signed up for some program in a post-secondary institution and your life is again dictated for you for another four years. You write the papers, get the grades, and then you graduate.

And then it happens again.

University is over. And again, you are staring out at the big bad world, and you wonder: "what do I do next?". In my case, I signed up for yet another program. This time, with a "practical career focus". Once again, you do the program, jump through the hoops and figure out what is required of you.

And now, I am here again.

It's a little different this time. The thing that I am "supposed to do" is quite obvious. But at the moment, that doesn't seem to make it any less scary. In fact, it almost seems more scary. I keep joking that I am not sure what scares me more: that I WON'T get the job, or that I WILL and then I will have to face all those crazy high schoolers all over again.

As I write these words, I wonder if I should post them. There seems to be a high possibility of misunderstanding. You might think that Sharelle must "not want to teach", or something of that nature. I don't think that is it really. I think it is more about transition. It's that point where your life shifts, and you are forced to move with it. Those are hard moments for me.

So I thought I would send these thoughts out into the void, and see what you thought, if maybe you identified. Ohh blogging...

4 comments:

Laura said...

umm, no worries, "you'll be a great teacher Sharelle!!"

but really, my advice? come join me at the alma mater in enrolling in yet another program :)

perpetual deferal of adulthood is the ticket.

Margaret said...

I'm with Laura. You need a PhD.

Jenny said...

I so identify with this, Sharelle. It's a strange time of life...

kate said...

Sharelle:
I totally identify with what you are saying, in fact, I am in grad school right now, and I'm trying to decide if I should stay in the program I'm in and work for a church when I'm done OR switch to another do a PhD and become a professor. Frankly, both options seem fun and terrifying!!

I can REALLY relate to this post.